I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this will be a night to untag.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
