Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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