If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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