I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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