and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
