Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
