Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
