i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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