hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
