i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
