I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I love you.
Bad choice
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