You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
