So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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