she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Even my vagina gasped.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
