What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
