Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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