Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
worst night to have a conscience
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
