He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
