therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
