bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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