im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
