Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The air taste purple.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
