does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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