Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
