Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
