k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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