i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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