he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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