we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
