That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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