textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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