I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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