I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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