She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
