I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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