I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
