You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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