Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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