Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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