So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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