When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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