why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Enjoy the penises
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
