I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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