OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
