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• (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girl's gotta have her standards.

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• (805): View more from California

  im having a threesome with these popsicles

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

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• (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store

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• (626): View more from California

  You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny

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