Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Couch. On fire.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
