Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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