they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
