I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So vagazzling was a success
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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