I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
