Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
