I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
