you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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