Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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