so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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