so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
