As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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