But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize