Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
