Sponge bath it is.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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