i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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