gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
