Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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