That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
