im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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