omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
