Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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