that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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