dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
