after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
