so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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