I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My pussy is not your playground.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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