I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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