I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
